Unconventional Enlightenment

The weather is lovely now, an improvement of 5 degrees and getting better, it is the beginning of Spring!

I rented a DVD from the convenience store in my building a good few months ago and never returned it. Don't ask me why, you know me - I procrastinate! It's owned by this nasty trailer trash French man with diseased looking hands and what not and I avoid being seen in front of the store like my life is on the line. Once... I was walking to the lobby entrance and he was right by his door staring at me entering while my headphones were on. My heart was pounding! And last night, I had to come outside to pick up food and he spotted me and stared at me walking all the way to the back entrance where I avoided him. I should really return that DVD, it's The Laws of Attraction, that movie with Julianne Moore and Pierce Brosnan, really nice watch! Hehe.

I said something quite fucked up and sad sounding the other day though I didn't mean for it to sound emotional or sad... I said: I think the happiest days of my life are going to be when I'm on my death bed, because I will be resting all I want with no tasks to fulfill and if people want to see me, they'll come see me.

I still have yet to diagnose my suspicions. I must have something! It's either I'm: anemic, depressed, have a sleeping disorder or some kind of ADD. I must have said a million times to my mother over the phone: Yes mummy, I'm going this week to the Health Clinic to figure it out. Why haven't I executed my tasks?

I am planning to change my major. Sorry, but Politics is stupid and dirty and completely hopeless. They always say you can make a difference... no you can't. We all rooted Obama Obama! Yes, we can! He's not doing shit yet! What the fuck am I going to do in the oh so powerful UN to help make this world a better place? How is joining Amnesty Int'l going to do anything? My druggie mind thought while on the bus: The only way world peace can be achieved I think is if the entire UN general assembly, security council and the chair all had another pointless meeting and each person drops two hits of MDMA. Ooooh, they will fucking love each other! I totally understand hippies now. I think they're truly some of the most happiest people on Earth despite the stigma. I'd love to be a hippie, embark on a spiritual journey by doing LSD in India. There is a lot of hidden beauty in life. Politics isn't beauty or asthetic, it's disgusting dirt with blood clumping it all together. They all want money and money is the poison of the Earth. A necessity like water is becoming a business. I'm glad the fossil fuels are going to run out in 4o years.

So I was thinking, I should switch to Communications and Fine Art. I need to resume exercising my creative outlet because really, it's my real passion.

Aaaah, I feel like one of those disorganized kids who send their parents into trauma! But I need to fix things up now before I fuck my life for the future!