It's interesting how my perspective on people has been through thorough reconstruction since I was born. Changing, building, retaining, and so forth, and it has moved at a steady space as each has passed by. The way I view people in front of me, the very ones who interact with me, even as trivial of interaction like making a milli-second of some eye contact with a stranger, has drastically flipped.
I don't know which one of my emotions should I grab from the box to match as to how I feel about this. For most part, it's extreme disappointment. I fell into that minority of... not naive, but the sort of folk who can see the light in a fellow human being without getting distracted from the darkness in their energy. The energy from people's light had a much more vivid touch to me back then (circa 2 years ago).
However, as what society says: "You get older, wiser, smarter and you mature." To me that is way too fucking sugar coated. For me that quote is that light sugary taste you get before you swallow the remainder of medicine which automatically fucks the taste in your mouth afterward. Because I've learned the hard way, that in social relations in the commons, that we are not trust each other. You don't know what they're thinking, and you don't know who they're telling, and you don't know the real feel. Another bitch I met who I had to learn about the hard way, was a bitch you can find in the dictionary under the name "fake."
I don't like it when someone says they're not fake. Anyone who makes that declaration is sodomizing the general concept of truth hard and without lubrication. We are all fucking fake. And don't say you're not, because we all have that 1 or 2 or 45 friends who we are nice to, but in truth you can't stand their presence, not because you hate them, but because of aspects that make friction onto your personality. Be it, "all this guy talks about is fucking basketball, and drinking... whatever, he's nice, but he annoys me," or "she is so immature and such a slut, I don't have anything against her, but I can't stand being around her! I'm so ashamed to be around her in public!" You see, that's the kind of shit I'm talking about. And the small little actions which send across a message, like removing someone of your top friends on facebook. Haha. Yeah, I said it. We have to be real. Not everyone is capable of being 110% blunt enough to say to someone's face "I can't be your friend and we can't chill. We simply have nothing in common."
So yeah. I now choose very very wisely as who to categorize as "close" friends as opposed to saying to everyone: "We're all going to be friends forever." I don't know. I have no clue in the future as to what will happen. But be weary not of what people think of you but dissect the people you know who mutually love you back from the people who you really wouldn't trust your life with (these people, you should care nothing of what they think). Those who are close, it should matter what they think.
As of now, I have done that. I've achieved hard tasks like severing ties with certain people I once called friends. Not all socially, but emotionally as well. I have achieved learning that you aren't to share your soul with just anyone. It's an application process vice versa.
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